How To Stop Letting Things You Can't Control Hold You Back Anymore

Nov 22, 2021


I was asked first off, given where we're staying right now. There's a very loud highway right behind me. You can probably hear it because there are massive trucks that just fly by all day long and it's extremely obnoxious and audio. So I apologize for that. But I was asked, how do you deal with something like that and not let that hold you back from actually showing up and taking action on the things that you're supposed to be doing. 

And my response to that was I can't change the fact that there's a highway right here with cars going by. They're extremely loud. But I know that I'm put here to show up to provide value into sharing my experiences and to be open and be vulnerable. And so by me letting something hold me back, like roosters in the background, like you heard a Maui or nonstop weed whacking, which was also a big problem there. 

And now with the traffic. Then I wouldn't have produced podcast episodes. I wouldn't have started YouTube videos. Right. And made this an audio-video podcast. I just wouldn't have done it. And in reality, that stuff is silly because it just shows that this is real life. I'm not letting it hold me back from pushing play for the fact that allowed us truck might go in the background right now. 

Because it's just stuff that's simply out of my control, but what I can control is showing up and providing as much value as humanly possible and putting up the content that hits me with inspiration as it does not wait for the slow time of day, where there might not be traffic because I might not be inspired. 

Then I'm inspired now so it's figuring out how to take inspired action when you're feeling like doing it and not letting the other crap that could stand in your way, actually stand in your way. It's removing that resistance by just allowing yourself to be a real person that has trucks in the background or has a baby who might start crying, whatever it may be, it's real life. 

And people are going to understand that. And they're going to embrace that. Like, I didn't get ready before this, to be honest, actually, I went and I through. A new shirt and a sweater. I didn't, I ran a brush through my hair, but I didn't go doing my hair and doing my makeup for this podcast because I was feeling inspired. 

Now. I don't know if my baby's going to wake up in 10 minutes and need me, so I figured I better get this going as fast as possible while I'm still feeling motivated and have it on my mind, right? Yeah. Taking action when you can not worrying about the rest of the shit. Okay. Then the other question that was asked of me, and I feel like this is really huge for a lot of different people is I don't know if you saw, but I just recently posted a very vulnerable thing on Instagram, talking about my journey through toxic and abusive relationships and how I turned to drinking and partying. 

Three or four times a week, I was just always going out and just getting drunk, to be honest with you. And it was before I was even the age of 21. I had like 10 fake IDs, no joke. That is not an exaggeration. It could have been more, to be honest. And I just posted about this and I was really vulnerable and open about the old version of myself that I no longer am anymore. 

And the reason that I posted that was because I knew somebody out there needed to hear that they needed to hear of where I came from and what I used to struggle with and how I got through it and bridged that gap to where I am today because I'm a completely different person. And I knew that if I didn't share that story, I would always keep it covered up. 

I would never, why would I ever bring that up? Right. But what's interesting is now after sharing it. And feeling the embrace of all of these different people. I feel like it's just, it's a part of me. It's not me anymore, but it was my past. And I feel more inclined to share it more now because of how many people that it actually resonated with. 

And what's interesting about that is that a lot of my old friends. Well, I wasn't really sure how or why that relationship would have ended. A couple of them actually commented on that post, talking about how proud they were of me and how much they missed me, cue the annoying car in the background, by the way, they embraced me said that they missed me. 

It's people who I really don't know why we stopped being friends because we never really had that closure. Well, I do know why they didn't see. That path that I was on. They didn't want to be a part of that path. And so thankfully they found a new path, but after seeing this transformation, I'm hoping that we can rekindle some of those relationships that were lost along the way. 

So if you feel like you have a story inside of you, something that's happened to you where you've gotten to the other side of it, just know that. There's somebody out there was going to resonate with. It's going to pull you closer to the people and it's going to make others embrace you because really that part of your journey and about our, how dirty, nasty, and just how much you want to ignore it. 

It happened, you spent your time in your life doing that thing for as long as you let it happen. It's a part of who you are and you're following. They know about it. But it's the fact if you own up to it and you talk about why you were in that state. Like, for me, it was those abusive relationships. I guarantee my following didn't know that I was in abusive relationships. 

They knew I was partying a lot, but they didn't know why. Now they have a better understanding of why I did what I did. Okay. There's somebody out there right now. Who's been through something that you've gotten to the other side of, and they're suffering from that. They need to hear how you got from point a to point B, how you've created that bridge to the other side. 

They need to know. And while you're not the only one, I'm sure who's gone through this. You might explain it in a different way that hits the home. You might be able to give them advice that they've never received before. So while they could go out and find somebody else to help them, they're not going to be able to find one. 

You are unique. There's only one you with your past experiences. And so for somebody to feel connected to you, you've got to be able to be vulnerable. And if you're listening to this or watching this and you are like, alright, Jamie, but you don't understand my story. Can't be shared. I'm going to hurt people. 

I don't want to open any wounds. I understand my client right now has been through a lot of things that she doesn't really feel comfortable sharing because she doesn't want to hurt anybody. Who's close to her. And my advice to you in this situation is the fact that regardless of, if somebody else agrees with your story or not, or how you decide to tell your story, either way, it's your story. 

And this is how you lived it. This is how you remember it and how you believe it. It's your truth. And if they have something to say about it, because they're not willing to share their side truth, be told they don't have a place to be judging you for sharing what happened to you and the easiest way to not hurt anybody in this process is to not step on any toes. 

Don't throw anybody under the bus. Don't do anything to hurt anybody. But if you come from a place inside of you, that's here to help and support others who are going through something like what you're going through. It's going to shift, it's going to change. And you're going to feel that loving embrace. 

And to be honest with you, let's say you're worried about a family member judging you or something that family member may not have ever known your perspective or what you've truly been through. And so if this family member you're worried about, here's your story? You might give them an entirely new perspective. 

That's actually going to make them respect you more. It might bring you guys closer and actually bond you. So while you're not posting and you're not sharing the fact that you're scared to hurt someone, I feel like the only person you could really be hurting is yourself, because it's going to be holding you back from opening up the doors and the flood gates to your truth because the truth is ultimate, what's going to set you, free guys. I don't care if you've got 10 kids and a husband, and you're just at the top of the world right now. The only thing in your life that you can worry about truly is yourself. Truly, you were in charge of yourself. So you need to find ways to bring it forward. 

This past that you have so that you can share it with others and let them embrace you. This is a part of your story, and it's meant to be shared it's time that you find your voice, create a mission behind it and start to share it with the world's Q and a motorcycle. You guys. I hope that if you have been through something in your life and you feel like your story is really here to benefit and serve others, that you find a way to share it. 

And if you need tips and tricks, or you just want to see how I'm being open and vulnerable on my Instagram, head over to Instagram and check out Jamie Kullman. I know it's scary, but if you are teetering, if you are on that cliff, if you were hurt on the edge, just jump because based on the podcast episode that I just filmed for the B-flat philosophy podcast, I realized that by me, opening up the doors to this story and starting to share it with others, it's changed the entire conversation. 

That would have been one of my successes. And maybe a little bit of my journey, but it wouldn't have been as raw and real as it is now. And now I feel like I can just bring up everything that's been bottled up for so long that I've been wanting to share, but I just didn't quite know how so guys are ready for. 

A true Jamie to present. And this is what this season of life and this season three of Moms Freedom Maker has been all about. It's how do you step into your authentic self and not feel bad about it and not feel guilty, not seek yourself down to playing small due to societal norms. It's finding the authentic version of you finding your voice and figuring out how to actually create your movement around it. 

So I hope that this episode was beneficial to you. I hope that this hits home for you, and I cannot wait to continue on this journey and continue being vulnerable. If you guys found, any takeaways from this episode, I encourage you to take 30 seconds out of your day, head over to Apple podcasts, and leave me a rating and review. 

It helps the algorithm more than you will ever know because it's going to let other people just like you find this show. So head over to apple, we mean rating review. I can not wait to, oh, I can't wait to continue down this journey with. I will catch you. 

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