Ep 013: Make Your Mess Your Message

Sep 04, 2020

I want to ask you a question. What drives you more? Seeing someone successful have a seemingly perfect life? OR having that person open up about the real struggles they’ve had and give you a glimpse into how life really is full of messes, even for them? What do you think is more impactful?

On the previous episode, we talked about the #1 key to success in the social media game being documented, don’t create. Let’s chat about the way you show up and what you should start documenting and sharing with your tribe!

To check out the posts that accompany this episode, and to get a rundown of everything that’s going down in season 1 here on Moms Freedom Maker CLICK HERE.


Perfection usually doesn’t drive us, it gives us something to strive toward. But typically those messy stories of tragedy, heartbreak and mundane struggles have lifted and motivated us in some way. These messes are where the true beauty lies where we see examples of redemption, growth and determination. When we see someone successful make their mess their message, we’re drawn to them on a deeper level.

To be human is to be messy and imperfect. Some of these messes wash off and some stick. But we never have to become prisoners or victims to these messes. We can break through them by finding the meaning, lesson or message inside them.

The best thing we can do is learn from our mess, grow from them and help someone else. We can make something beautiful out of our messiness.

Here’s the thing. These moments we want to hide away from the world; lock up in a vault never to be seen or discussed again, are exactly the moments our followers need to hear about to get to know us on a deeper level and become our raving fans.

Imagine your favorite movie or TV show. The main characters never live a “perfect” life (so to speak), or the show would be a complete bore! Every good movie, plot or reality show is full of the good times, bad times and all of the mess in between. It’s not because people want to see someone fail, they want to see the redemption, which helps them relate the story back to their lives in some way.

The writers of these shows know how to captivate the audience and bring them on a journey.

Why Should You Make Your Mess Your Message

Everything you’ve gone through has a purpose. The things that’ve happened in your life have led you down a path that has brought you to exactly where you are today. You’ve succeeded, struggled, grown and pushed through roadblocks that many others are going through right now. If you can learn to be transparent and share the process of how you went through something to become a better version of yourself, or how that struggle made you the person you are today, you will speak deeply to others.

  • Someone out there needs you: When you start opening up about your “mess” or whatever tough situation you’ve gone through or are going through now, you’re meeting someone where they’re at and giving them hope that they too have the strength. By sharing the story of your “mess”, especially how you got through it, you might just change someone's life.
  • You’re Real & Relatable: If you can show your real life, behind the scenes, messy, imperfect and trying your best, your audience will relate with you on a much deeper level!
  • You’re Growing: After you start viewing your messes with new eyes and from the context of learning from them and how you got through them, you’re growing! You’re not letting something big or small guide your life and you’re able to take any seemingly messy situation and use it as fuel for your fire and you’re taking back control of your life!
  • You’ll Build A Tribe: Once you start revealing your trials and struggles you’ll build a bond with your audience that’s really strong. You could even start a movement.

Many times we’re stuck somewhere in between having the answers and a complete mess. Jenna Kutcher calls this our messy middle and we think that once we have our answers we can start to share our message with the world. We think that after we figure everything out we can start showing up, then we can start sharing. But, if we’re honest with ourselves, it’s really just our way of delaying progress and moving towards success.

It’s our way of procrastination.

I want to talk about a wound vs. a scar. If we’re in the midst of trouble in our lives right now we may have a big open wound that’s painful for us to talk about. But eventually with time that wound usually starts to heal and turns into a scar. Many times when this happens we have a new perspective after it’s healed and we can be open about our experience.

If you can find an in between, a messy middle, as a point for you to start showing up that’s where you should start.

If you’re still wounded, I still encourage you to show up.

When you’re making your mess your message and starting your mission it’s still important for you to embrace where you are now and open up about it.

How can you start sharing your journey in a way that feels authentic to you?

People want to see your transformation and grow with you.

Begin before you have all the answers.

Honestly think about this. If we’re always saying “well once I get 10,000 or 50,000 followers then I’ll start sharing my message and serving.” but, you have an audience right now. If you have anyone following you online - and I’m sure you do - you have someone to speak to.

Start voicing your authentic self, let your mess become your message and bring people on your real journey. You’ll bring people into your process and they’ll start to feel motivated to start too.

Oh how badly I used to try hiding my mess to the outside world. And boy, it was messy. This is just my business side, in a future episode I’ll dive into my personal messes but for now let’s start here…

You guys have heard a little bit about my entrepreneurial journey, but I’ll reveal a little bit more for you now. Over the past 10 years I was in a constant state of frustration and I felt like I was always spinning my wheels. It was like I was on a treadmill going so fast and getting absolutely nowhere. I had all the drive in the world, but absolutely no clue where to focus my energy. No starting point, no roadmap, no path.

I knew more than anything that I wanted to increase my impact on the world, but that’s where the clarity ended. I remember googling how to create an impactful business with your passions.. or something like that. I came up empty handed. I felt so alone and beat myself up on a daily basis because I couldn’t just figure it out.

Why couldn’t I just pick one thing and give it my all?

On my journey I bounced around from wanting to be a marine biologist and even pursued a college degree, stopping a class short from my associates because that didn’t keep the entrepreneur in me satisfied.

I talked about wanting to start a thrift store, a clothing boutique, a food truck, a car dealership and way too many other businesses to list.

I would come up with new inventions worthy of Shark Tank, awesome solutions to problems around me and the next new thing on a daily and weekly basis. All this did was add to the confusion. I got nothing done, nothing started. I was paralyzed.

Honestly, I think many entrepreneurs struggle with this… we want to be everything, therefore we start nothing.

One day I said enough is enough. I can’t keep spinning around and changing my ideas. It’s not getting me any closer to the life I want to be living and it’s not putting me on the right track.

I’m done living this way.

I resourced up; went to seminars, hired coaches and mentors; paid over 15k for self education and learned what I needed in order to get clarity, direction and focus. I stopped trying to do everything on my own.

You guys in just 3 months I was able to accomplish what I had been trying to figure out for 10 years.

Once I found my purpose everything started to fall into place. I knew where I needed to focus, I understood the path I was on and I could suddenly see the full picture - the stepping stones I was on and where they would lead me in the future.

That’s part of the reason I decided to start this podcast. As a way to document my journey and what I’ve learned along the way, because I know i f I can help just one person skip the years of frustration I went through, it would be worth it.

If you can take one thing away from Moms Freedom Maker podcast that will add value to your life then I’m making the impact I’ve craved for over 10 years.

I hope you can start to look at your messes with new eyes and see them as the success tax you had to pay to get you to where you are today. Understand that someone out there needs what you have to share and you can have a positive impact on someone else's life once you open up and share your story.

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