Ep 008: Fear Will Destroy You Or Drive You

Aug 23, 2020

What’s the reason someone hasn’t started something or isn’t where they want to be in their life? The answer is fear. Fear is the number one handicap that us humans are born with and it stops us in our tracks. It has the power to stop us from following our dreams, prevent us from reaching our full potential, and can keep us exactly where we are for the sake of staying “safe”. 

I want to talk about fear and how we should stop letting it hold us back from reaching our full potential and use it as a driving force to help us reach our next level of life.

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Many times when you push through that fear if you learn how to harness its energy and realize that on the other side of that fear is your next opportunity, is your next level of life, you realize that that feeling on the other side is much stronger. 

For so long I let fear guide my decisions, I was so worried of what others would think that I didn’t pursue my dreams. 

I was worried to put myself out there for fear of rejection because what I was doing wasn’t considered “normal”.

I thought I would disappoint my family and close friends if I decided to take the path less traveled. 

But, then I realized that by conforming to normal and what others expected of me, I wasn’t being myself. I wasn’t having fun or pushing myself – I was just existing. Then I really thought about it and the one thing that scared me more than the fear of following my dreams was the fear of not following them. I want to encourage myself to be different, put myself out there, I want to use my fear to help me reach heights I never knew I could. I’m afraid of not living, so I choose to live differently. 


Getting to the other side of that fear is you teaching yourself that when you say go, you go. You won’t have the fear of missing out and you’ll let it drive you to do what you want to do with absolute certainty. 

You need to turn fear on itself and be more and more afraid of what your life will be like if you keep letting fear stand in your way. 

We don’t want to be someone who lets life happen to them, doesn’t follow through and is left wondering what could have been.  

Think about it this way, things are always going to come up as roadblocks on the path you’re on. Whether you take path A or path B you will have something come up eventually that tries to steer you off course and set you back, but here’s the magical thing – you get to choose what path you’re on. 

Honestly, think to yourself; what am I really afraid of? You need to train yourself to be more fearful of what you’re going to miss out on if you let that fear stand in your way than the fear itself.  

We need to start using our fear or it’s going to use us.  

Recently I had a new fear come up after going through some serious personal development and learning from the top coaches and mentors in my niche. 

There was a second where I wondered if all of this time and money spent on growing myself would be worth it if I could actually do what I’m learning. That was fear starting to creep in and hold me back from even trying.  

But then I thought about why I wanted this life and why I had been spending months and months learning from the best. That fear of staying right where I was and never progressing, was enough to get me going quickly.

 Tony Robbins talks about his rocking chair test and how when he’s sitting there at 84 years old looking back on his life, he’s going to be thinking about the things he did and didn’t do, he says to himself “will I regret those decisions?”

 

This can be one of the most powerful lessons you can learn. You don’t want to live with regret, not knowing what could have been.

 If you ever come across a situation where you think you may regret it, because you’re afraid of some short-term fear like failing or rejection, you need to make the long-term fear worse than that short-term fear. Like the fear of staying where you are, not creating your dream life and feeling stuck. 

 Then you know you have to bet on yourself because you don’t want to look back and wonder “what if”.

 When you start to bet on yourself and take action that would normally scare you, you start to build up your confidence and use fear as your secret weapon. 

Once I realized the power of my why and that I had to take the knowledge I had accumulated and start sharing it, opening up to others and speaking from the heart – the idea of starting a podcast was less scary to me then staying where I was.

 Great things happen at the edge of your comfort zone. 

 HOW CAN WE USE FEAR? In our lives to get the competitive edge? 

 You can start to think of what’s something new you can incorporate into your life – what if you could take on a new skill that will test your fear and get you more freedom for your life? 

 Remember to get yourself into state – because that’s how you’re going to follow through! Make a decision right now that you’re going to start something new. It can be listening to something motivational every day, going on a walk through the park, cooking a new meal, going on a date.  

You want to create some freedom for yourself by working towards something every single day to get to a goal that you have. 

 Breakthroughs happen when you put yourself into a peak state, condition your mind and following through.  

If you can do a little bit each day you’ll get momentum, which will lead to progress. This all goes back to knowing and understanding you why on a deep level so you have a driving force behind you.  

Sometimes it’s up to you to change your standards for what you want out of your life. You can do this by surrounding yourself with different people who are doing what you want to do or have accomplished something wonderful. When you start entering their conversations it will empower you to get outside of the fear that’s been holding you back.  

But it all starts with the belief that you can actually do something. You don’t compare yourself to others and how they can do it because of this, but I can’t do it because of that. You have to believe with all of you that there is potential in what it is that you’re doing in order to get real results. 

 After you have that belief you can start to take action and your belief will start to grow. But you have to have absolute certainty that you’re going to make this work, and if it doesn’t work I’m going to find a way.

 Personally, I had to get so damn certain that I would make my business work for my life that I’m willing to fail 99 times before I succeed once. I know with 100% of me that as long as I push myself and give this everything I have that one of these times I will succeed.

 I have certainty. 

 I truly believe in this and I’m taking massive action! I’m starting to see more of my potential and I’m passionate. I’m growing because I’m overcoming my fears.

 You have to get the results in your head like it’s already happened for you. You have to obsess about it – look at your dream board and feed your mind by looking for role models. Shop for your dream home and dream car, envision your future like it’s already here. You have to do this over and over again. 

 See yourself succeeding to tap your full potential. 

 Now I understand right now the world has been living in a state of fear, there’s so much uncertainty in the air – you maybe lost your job, have to learn how to juggle homeschooling with working from home or a new routine all while trying to keep your loved ones safe. 

 No one knows when things will go back to normal…

 But you have to put that fear aside and understand that with times like these they give us a unique opportunity to reassess our lives and the way things are. They give us the chance to make a change by curbing that fear and using it to propel us towards our next level. 

 Think about all of the people who have been through hard times such as what we’re going through now and have come out the other side stronger. 

 What happens is we get so comfortable in life that we think it is going to always stay the same and then when life throws a curveball, we aren’t sure how to handle it.

 If you can find a role model who has been through hard times, it will help encourage you that you can do it too. If you find someone who’s changed their life. What strategy pulled them through? 

 My friends, this could be just the opportunity you needed to completely change the trajectory of your life. You have to face your fear with absolute certainty. Get yourself into state by creating a different ritual and take the path less traveled on to get you to that dream life. 

 OUTRO:

 Impact over income

 Freedom Makers, now that you know more about fear and how you can use it as the driving force to get you into peak state to get those goals done the sky’s the limit.

 Cheers to showing up and in the next episode we’re going to talk about how the impact you make once you start stepping outside of fear directly relates to your income.  

To check out the posts that accompany this episode, and to get a rundown of everything that’s going down in season 1 here on Moms Freedom Maker head over to momsfreedommaker.com/season and the number 1.  

Thanks for listening!

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