073: How To Get Into Work-life Flow With Kids at Home

Sep 06, 2021

 I want to start by talking about the way I used to do things. When I first had Kylo, which was the way that I was doing things before I had a baby. And obviously, you might already be thinking, Jamie, obviously, that's not going to work, right? Because now you have a baby that requires so much of you, you've got to find balance now. Right. And so rather than me reaching out to others, or hiring a coach that can help me, I figured it out on my own, which took quite some time. But it's something that I've been actively working on for the past nine months now. So how I used to do things as I would wake up, do my morning routine, and sit down on my desk, right just like I did before having Kylo.

And then I would almost get annoyed when he would need me or when he would start crying because I'm in work mode, right? So obviously, you know, it's very frustrating when you get interrupted when you're in a flow state with work in life trying to come at you right. And so it was a lot of frustration. And rather than me taking the time with Kylo, when he was up and active and in play mode, I was trying to work and I would get frustrated at him. And I would get frustrated at my spouse Stephen has been home with me and Kylo. And so really, it was just all-around not good. Because I'm trying to work and I'm getting distracted. I'm getting frustrated. I'm not showing up as good of a mother as a shed, because obviously, that frustration goes into my life. I and Steve would be kind of bickering a little bit more, because we're just like, No, you take it, man, he's like, No, you take him, I just took him. And you know, it just all around is just bad energy. We're out of the flow. We can't feel in balance when we're doing things like this. And so my whole days would go like that for a while, just because I didn't understand how I could structure my day to where I could still get the things done that I needed to and show up as the mother that I needed to be and the spouse that needed to be as well.

So you might be feeling that way too. You're like I have all of these things to get done in the day. How do I find that balance? I'm asked this so many times. And the reason I'm actually filming this episode today is that it's been very requested by the Instagram audience. They're always asking me, how do I find balance, Jamie? I'm a mom, I have a business. I'm trying to start a business, I have a career, how do I get all these things done in the day and feel like I'm in this flow state? So this episode is for you. All right. Now, full transparency. I'm not sure if balance exists, because I think it's something that's fluid. It's always changing today, you might feel completely imbalanced with everything in your life, right? But tomorrow, you might not feel unbalanced, because one thing might shift one thing might change. So I believe in a flow state.


And I'm gonna explain that to you right now. So for me, flow is when the whole world kind of disappears and you're fully engrossed in the task at hand. It's like time doesn't matter anymore. Right? Think about that. When have you last felt inflow? Maybe you love to write. So once you start writing, you just let the page just take you, and before you know it an hour has gone by and you've written like a couple of pages in your notebook or maybe for you that speaking Right, maybe you have a podcast too. And you flip on that mic, and you can just riff and you just go and like, you're just so inflow, it just feels so good, right?

Those are a couple of examples for maybe life or business, but maybe with your family, if you're at the playground, and you're pushing your son in the swing, and like the whole world just disappears, and you're just engrossed in his smile, like think back to the last time you felt inflow. And that's what I want to talk about today. It's figuring out how to get your life to flow in all of the major areas of your life, specifically, the body is balanced in business, if we can get into that flow state, in these major areas of our life, are going to feel that balance that we've been striving for.

But if you're feeling like you're not in flow, or for example, like I had been working before, if I'm trying to get worked on the computer, and I'm being pulled in multiple directions by my spouse, and my baby, I'm not going to be able to get into that flow state. And so you're going to feel that frustration, you're going to feel out of flow in all of those different areas. If you're in that type of situation.

Now, you could be listening to this, and you are running your business from home, and you've got toddlers or kids running around to interrupt you while you're working that's pulling you out of the flow. But I want to talk about how you can actually get away from that without dropping the ball in any of these major areas. So here's what I've been doing. Instead, it's figuring out your day. So look at your day, right now, I'm going to give you my personal examples, and then try to relate this back to what you're doing. So I know for a fact that Kylo wakes up at 7:30 in the morning. So I know that I need to get my me time, my morning routine done by 7:30 am. When he wakes up, that means I've got to wake up at least an hour before that, right. I like to wake up at 5:35 o'clock on a good day, right? So I know the time I need to wake up that I have interrupted my time. Before 7:30 when he wakes up from there, I know from 7:30 to 10 he's gonna be up in need of things from me. So old me used to work from 7:30 to 10 am. Because that's my time where I felt like I could really be productive. So you have to make some sacrifices here you guys.

Okay? In the sense of when your flow state maybe would have been for business, right? So rather than me working from 7:30 am to 10 am, when I used to work, it's realizing that that's the time my baby needs me. And that's the time that my baby and I need to get into flow together. Okay, so today what we did me knowing that that's the case is I took him on a walk, we went to the park, this was right at 7:30 am. Right, I 7:30 am. I fed him, I changed him. We got in the stroller, we went on a walk, we went to the park. And you guys, it's so interesting, because had we not taken advantage of this space in our day where we could be together. And I would have just sat down as I had at the beginning of his life, I would have been frustrated with him. But instead, the morning went so incredibly well. And then we stopped Steven, I got coffee. And we came home. And what's interesting is now we played for, you know, 10 minutes, I made sure I fed him when we got home. Now we laid him down and he sleeping, which allows me to get into flow with work uninterrupted, because Steve songsters, getting some stuff done as well. So now we're both inflows with work uninterrupted. And we feel better with each other. We felt feel good with Kylo. We know he's taking care of. And I know that we've got two hours to work before he wakes up again when we're going to go and do another adventure.

So you guys, it's figuring out where in your day do you have opportunities for flow and your major areas of life. And it's not forcing anything? Right? forcing something would be me saying no 7:30 am I'm going to work I'm going to get into a flow state with my business. That's forcing things because that just simply doesn't work with my life anymore. Right? That was the old way of doing things. But it's understanding that now we need to work when the baby sleeps, we need to use that time more beneficially, to get into that flow state. So now, think about your day, and where you could fit in flow with what you're currently doing.

Okay, so if that's for your body, when does your body feel most active and awake and alive? Can you go to the gym and not have a lot of timeframes? And if the answer is no say okay, well then can I walk more than that? Time, can I go to the park? Can I? Like, what can I do? And if it's even combining a couple of things, right, like we took a walk with Kylo in our family type of flow time, right? It's figuring out, okay, how can I combine a couple of things because in the morning, we're much more awake, we're much more alert. So it's saying, Okay, well, we're going to take a walk, because it helps us helps him be more relaxed, and it gives us together time while he's awake, right? So it's thinking to yourself, how can I take advantage of how I feel at a specific time during my day, and then mesh that with something else, right? It's not forcing things, it's not even real-time blocking, so to speak, because it needs to be fluid, because right, Kyle might sleep today from 10 to noon, and then tomorrow, he might sleep from nine to 11, right? So it's gonna always be changing. But it's allowing yourself to adapt to this. And realizing that the best work that you're going to do is when you let yourself get into a flow. So it's really not about balance. For me, it's really all about flow.

And this is something that I'm going to start talking about more and more moving forward. Right. But you guys, if you're listening to this, and you're feeling out of balance, or like something in your life just isn't clicking, and just is hard, maybe it has some resistance, tap into what you're doing. And if you're taking forced action, because a lot of times, all we need to do is just adjust the time of day that we're doing something like we did, right, we're still working the same amount of time, right, two hours, sometimes four hours a day, right. But that's it. It's just figuring out how to meshwork in with your life, not the other way around, I find like a lot of people are used to the nine to five schedule, I talk about that a lot, too. But what needs to happen is you need to flip that, put Family First, put your baby first. And then work will fit it. And I promise you that. And when you only have two hours during nap time to show up, you're gonna show up more effectively, because you only have a specific time, you have to be super productive and actually move the needle in those two hours, rather than you have a say eight hours during the day to basically fill your time with busywork. So I believe it's a good thing if you work with limited time during the day. I know a lot of people say well, I don't only have two hours a day, like how can I start a business? or How can I run a business and be honest with you, I think that's the most beneficial thing you could do for yourself is have limited time to work. Because it's going to make you show up better for every aspect of your life, really. So just put your kids first, honestly put your babies first you started a business or you're starting a business so that you could do that. So if they come barging into your office today, and you normally would push them away, or tell them you're busy, Trump, whatever it is you're doing, go spend time with them and realize that your work will still be there. It will still be there MAMA. And I promise you when you wait until after you've spent time with them to get your work done, you're going to show up better because of it. You're not going to have that resentment that you maybe would have if they were bothering you. And it's just going to remind you why you started your business in the first place, which was to live the best life possible with the people that you love.

I'm going to leave you with that for today's episode. But if you liked this episode, please share it with somebody that is close to you that you feel could really benefit from this message. Or go ahead and share on your Instagram stories and tag me at Jamie Coleman, because I just love to hear what you guys think of these episodes. And you can also visit my Facebook page and join my Freedom maker Tribe, it definitely keeps me going. But if balance is something you're looking to find in your life, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode because that is what we are all about here is getting into that flow state and figuring out how to find that work-life flow as a moment and business owner. Thank you guys for listening and I'll catch you in the next episode.

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